I remember bumping into the guy with whom I had my first penetrative sexual experience (commonly called “losing my virginity“), years after the moment.

We bumped into each other in the gym, we let out a “Hey” and each one followed his own. More than 10 years had passed since that moment, but it couldn’t affect us less to have met again. Each one had his life and we had lost track . Nothing united us beyond that afternoon where each one discovered the reality behind intercourse.

As a good ex-student from a convent school , the morality of waiting until I had a serious boyfriend, someone for whom feelings had surfaced, was what encouraged me to wait. Anyone would have thought that by giving such importance to that moment, the person would be recorded in a special way and would always remember it fondly.

But no, we saw each other and we stayed the same. It was just a coincidence.

Thinking about that moment, it has given me to review what other things they don’t teach us about sex besides that, the person with whom you had your first or first encounters, will not be anything for you , more than surely.

For example, the fact that sex is something that arises, irrepressible and wild, that you never have to look for it and that, if you have to, it is a bad sign. When the reality is that, just like there are times when you have to work hard to go train or cook a risotto, the same thing happens with this.

It doesn’t always happen, period, sometimes you have to look for the desire and make it grow until the moment comes when it rolls by itself and explodes in your hand or on your tongue.

No one tells us that there is no standard mean , neither for duration nor for frequency. That the ideal number of powders per week or the minutes that a satisfactory exchange should last (5.4 minutes according to the study in the Journal of Sexual Magazine ) is very relative.

What’s more, we can’t even imagine that we’re almost going to spend more time talking about sex than having it. Establishing that yes, that is not valid. And understand that unlike what the movies teach, you don’t always have an orgasm . And if you don’t have it, nothing happens.

What you surely do have is knee pain. It doesn’t matter what position you’re doing.

After a while it’s uncomfortable in the same way that it cuts the roll a bit to change position while you comment as if you were building a Lego, let’s see how you fit in now. Although perhaps what they teach us the least and surprises us the most is how delicate the clitoris can be. Yes, most of us may be aware of the sensitivity of the area , but not to what extent.

You can end up having stiffness to stimulate it, there are toys whose vibration causes discomfort and, if your nails are a millimeter longer and you move it without taking care of the angle of the finger, you will spend a couple of days with the area burning without being able to use it.